Cancer: “I’ll Be Back”

I’ll be back”

The Terminator

We all know the infamous line from The Terminator movie:


Arnold Schwarzenegger in The Terminator

Well, cancer is pretty infamous for the same thing. It’s basically just like the Terminator! Just before I get into the “now”, I’m going to be a lil nostalgic and discuss growing-up as a teen in the 90’s when The Terminator was released.

Growing-up as a teen in the 90’s

Although I’ve seen the movie, I don’t remember much of the actual plot.

The ONE thing I do remember is that Edward Furlong starred in the 2nd movie. He was a total ‘90’s heartthrob! I’ll admit it. I had his poster in my room.

The terminator
Edward Furlong back in the day

Don’t get me wrong. He was no “Jordan Catalano”, better known as Jared Leto, who perfected the ‘90s-style teen heartthrob in one of the best shows ever, “My So Called Life”. If you have never seen the show, put down whatever device you’re reading this on, and binge-watch the entire series!

That show was so ahead of its time!

My So Called Life featured one of the first openly gay characters on Primetime TV, who I can at least remember. It really captured how hard it is being a teenager and struggling with your identity – how you “fit in”, or maybe how you don’t “fit in”. Substance abuse and peer pressure were also major storylines in several episodes. The show even addressed teen sex and the challenge young women go through in deciding whether to lose their virginity.

Beyond friendships, relationships with a significant other, or someone you literally pray could be your S.O. one day, this show also addressed the intensely complicated relationship between teens and their parents, which of course I could not appreciate as a 14 year old. Watching it now, as a 40 year old, Whoa! What a different perspective!

This was the grunge era, so my friends and I rocked flannel shirts, chokers and of course, Doc Martins. “My So Called Life” also captured our fashion to a T! Although, I’ll admit “Angela”, played by Claire Danes, had a few over-the-top outfits.

I have a distinct memory of when they announced the cancellation of the show. It honestly devastated me! It came totally out of the blue. I’m pretty sure I actually cried. Yes, it sounds “like, totally dramatic” but that show defined my world as a young teenager.

Nevertheless, while he was no Jordan Catalano (no one EVEN compared), I totally swooned over Edward Furlong. Nowadays, he’s not lookin’ so good…

However, I don’t want to ruin the nostalgia by putting up a photo! I’m gonna stay “in the moment” for just a bit longer!

The Terminator – Basic Plot

Since I’m relying on Wikipedia here, Please. Don’t send any messages if this is totally wrong! Blame Wikipedia.

Anyway, Arnold is some sci-fi cyborg killer sent back in time from the the future.

It would be so perfect if he came back from 2020! Yet, that’s not the case.

The year 2020 has actually turned out to be WORSE than any horror sci-fi movie.

The Terminator was sent here to kill a woman, “Sarah Connor”. Thus, it starts killing random woman named “Sarah Connor”. There’s also talk of a potential nuclear holocaust. Lovely!

The Terminator locates the actual “Sarah Connor” but she escapes in a pickup truck. The Terminator chases her on a motorcycle in a famous scene. The battle even involves the Terminator hijacking a tank!

The Terminator Is Cancer, Or Cancer is The Terminator

Whichever way you slice it, either The Terminator is Cancer, or Cancer is The Terminator.

Cancer is The Terminator

My Life Now: A Sci-Fi Cyborg Sent To Kill Me, or Maybe I’m the Cyborg

Right now, it feels like cancer is indeed some weird cyborg sent here to kill me.

Despite my two bouts of brain cancer, my now 8 surgeries, a shunt inside my body draining fluid from my brain into my GI system, almost half my scalp being a graft from my stomach, wearing an AFO (brace) on my leg and walking with a cane at just 40 years old…

They’ve NOW discovered cancer in the gland that controls my salivary system (the parotid gland) and in lymph nodes in my neck!

You can learn more about these tumors from the Mayo Clinic here:

My brain tumor is extremely rare, despite all brain tumors being rare. Adding this other extremely rare cancer to the mix really takes the cake!

Am I the cyborg?

If cancer isn’t the sci-fi cyborg sent to Earth to kill me, well then what the hell is going on? I didn’t grow-up next door to a nuclear power plant! As far as I’m aware, there was no nuclear holocaust. So, where is this all coming from?

Oh, that’s right…. No one knows!

No explanation for cancer
Try explaining this to me…

What’s Next?

The obvious question is, “What is next?” Well frankly, I don’t have a clue. I write this as I await a radioactive PET Scan. Yes, I’ll be radioactive, literally, for about 72 hours.

Great  cancer again
Being Radioactive- “Oh Great.”

So, like the Terminator:

Cancer is indeed back!

Details to follow…

8 thoughts on “Cancer: “I’ll Be Back”

  1. I’m so sorry for everything you’re having to go through. My fingers are crossed for the results and I hope you get some better news. Sending lots of love  ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

    Caz xx

  2. Yikes! I’m so sorry. That was not the news anyone would have wanted. I’m glad you have the medical team and support system you do to help you deal with what must be devastating news. Sending big hugs.

    1. Yes. It came as such an utter and total shock. I can’t use my right eye and so I didn’t even mean to publish the draft but oh well…

  3. Ugh. I’m so sorry. Does tomorrow still work for you or are you busy with next steps? I’m here if you want to talk!

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