MEET WARRIOR MEGSIE
Admittedly this fellow warrior and I have never met in-person, though I’d love to one day. My list of “People I want to meet in-person” grows longer and longer, but that’s a good thing! It means that even though these fellow warriors are people I follow/have connected with virtually, we all share the trials and tribulations cancer has caused in our lives.
Now, it’s not a good thing that so many of these people have battled through cancer, but it helps me, at least, feel just THAT less cray cray !
Although social media can be a brutal world to enter, it can also help to know you’re not alone in your thoughts, feelings and experiences.
No matter our diagnosis, age, race, gender, sexual orientation, etc. etc., we face many similar problems. Of course, every journey, or as I call it “cancer chaos“, is unique.
One FABULOUS, woman I follow both on Twitter and her personal Blog is: Megan-Claire Chase (AKA Warrior Megsie). Her “fabulosity” shines through in her writing, her Tweets, and her obsession with fascinators. A gal after my own lil Irish heart! ❤️
This “babe“, a term I use as complimentary, obviously given my personal (AKA Brain Cancer Babe). IMO, it’s designated for beautiful, fierce and fabulous woman that I respect and adore. It’s not meant like a “catcall” towards a woman minding her own business walking down the street!
P.S. For any man, who thinks that would do anything besides pissing me the f-off, you are delusional! Anyway, back to the point… since no man is “catcalling” me in a wheelchair anyway.
HOW FIERCE IS THIS WARRIOR?
These are her words:
I was diagnosed with breast cancer (stage II A invasive lobular) on 9/14/15 at 39 years old. You can bet I never expected to get this type of cancer. I have spent 22 months in active treatment all while single and working full-time. I had 16 rounds of chemo (4 AC and 12 Taxol), eight surgeries and 33 radiation treatments. By the end of my active treatment, I was using a cane, not able to drive, could barely walk and beautifully bald. I was officially declared NED (no evidence of disease) on 10/25/16. I refuse to say “cancer free” or “remission” because that just sounds so temporary.https://warriormegsie.com/about/
Her contact information is at the bottom of my Post, but read-on through til the end because you’re going to want to hear what she recently wrote, as well some nuggets from her other pieces:
HOW I RELATE WITH HER EXPERIENCE:
FIRST, we may be competing secretly for “How many surgeries can a cancer patient go through?” If she is at 8 and I’m at 9, it’s a close race!
ALSO, I had to use a cane, which I despised. His name was “Klaus”. Now, I cannot walk even with the assistance of Klaus. I haven’t nicknamed my wheelchair yet. Suggestions are welcomed!
Similarly, I refuse to ever say, “cancer-free” or “remission” because in my eyes, there is NO CURE FOR CANCER.
Hell, I was almost 5-years NED, planning a disco-themed party to celebrate, when I suddenly learned that while there is NO CANCER IN MY BRAIN, my brain cancer cells escaped the CNS system and invaded my lymph nodes as well as a major salivary gland. It’s almost unheard of! Now I’ve got specialists at 2 major NYC hospitals, Duke and the NIH/NCI all following my case.
Personally , I’ve never adjusted to this “new normal” we’re expected to accept as cancer patients. PRIOR POST: Struggling With Change(Opens in a new browser tab)
MEGSIE’S LATEST POST: “Lemon Martini With A Twist Of Letting Go“
READ HER ENTIRE POST HERE: https://warriormegsie.com/2021/05/12/lemon-martini-with-a-twist-of-letting-go/
Is it possible to get through a month without trauma, sadness, rage, disappointment and frustration? I’m continuously thrown into the depths of despair because I expect too much of people and get hurt when they don’t show up the way I thought they would. The more I talk openly about race, the more I see the true colors of so-called friends who I never dreamed would have a racist bone in their body. I have officially lost the ability to trust and be vulnerable with people. (EMPHASIS ADDED).https://warriormegsie.com/2021/05/12/lemon-martini-with-a-twist-of-letting-go/
I am most surprised by the racism within the cancer community. I naively thought the cancer space would be free from that kind of bullshit but sadly it’s not.
The more I keep trying to be my authentic self, the more alone and isolated I feel. I often feel like the only single person on this planet.
I no longer feel like a warrior.
I no longer feel strong.
I no longer feel hopeful.
This world continues to be so cruel and oppressive. I’m desperately trying to let go of past and current hurts and let offensive and racist words roll off my protective cloak. The harsh truth is there will never be relief while in this skin because racism will never end. It seeps into everything.https://warriormegsie.com/2021/05/12/lemon-martini-with-a-twist-of-letting-go/
THE HIGHLY-SENSITIVE PERSONALITY
In a few Prior Posts, I’ve written about my hyper-sensitive personality, or highly-sensitive personality.
POST: “WHEN DO YOU WALK AWAY?
As I stated in that Post:
I’ve been told that I give more to people than they deserve, and that it only winds up hurting me in the end because I’ll never get back what I give in terms of my heart. So, when someone I let close to my heart, hurts me it hurts even more than the average person.
Some traits of people with this type of personality:
1. We absorb other people’s feelings no matter whether we know them personally or not, and it’s overwhelming for us (trust, I’ve cried through literally EVERY Disney movie);
2. We withdraw a lot, not necessarily because we want to be alone, but we NEED it;
3. Change comes very hard for us, and not just, “Oh no one likes change” – it’s extremely challenging;
4. We are always thinking, not just about something like the weather, but deeply and intensely. It typically comes off as being “shy” or even “cold” (Yes, I have Bitchy Resting Face, but I’m not angry, I’m just constantly in deep thought)
5. We notice everything and it can lead to an immediate sense of like or distrust of a person we hardly know. So, we’re labeled as “judgmental”.
6. When we hurt, we really, really hurt!
A LITTLE “ARMCHAIR PSYCHOLOGY”
WARRIOR MEGSIE, if I may, from your writing it seems like we’re both warriors in navigating a world that does not understand the highly-sensitive personality.
If you do not agree, please contact me and I will take this commentary down. Yet, I believe, this personality-type is a strength! Yes, we hurt more than the average Joe, and cancer surely doesn’t help this. You, of course, are dealing with even more because racism is so horribly ugly and painful!
However, our sensitivity makes us love more, listen more to others, empathize more, and gives us our power! We are trustworthy. People turn to us for help, comfort and relief. That’s invaluable in the Big “C” world! Plus, look at your list of Accomplishments in the “ABOUT” Section of your Blog!
If not for sensitive/empathetic people, like us, imagine how much WORSE this world would be?
MORE FROM MEGSIE
Unfortunately, my personal life of existing in this body and in this skin color leaves me utterly depleted and unable to turn to the creative outlets that have brought comfort in the past. So, I might repost some of my previously written blogs over the next few weeks because I’m still going through some things. Plus, most of what I’ve previously written is what I am struggling with now. While I can still let racist and insulting words roll off my back, I am still human and still affected. After all, it’s okay to NOT be okay. (EMPHASIS ADDED).https://warriormegsie.com/2021/04/11/the-problem-with-words-2/
- YOU ARE A FIERCE WARRIOR! It actually hurts when I read that you no longer believe that, but I understand. I mean, Damn, you write for WebMD!https://blogs.webmd.com/megan-claire-chase
- Typically, I feel strong, but medical crisis after medical crisis every single year since 2014, has taken away so much of my strength.
- I feel isolated so much of the time. COVID has NOT helped this feeling!
- Sometimes, I feel like no one understands too.
- Hope keeps me going though.
- People I thought would be there for me forever, simply walked away and when confronted about it, said to my face, “They couldn’t handle my cancer!” It wasn’t about me, but ALL about them! Well, good riddens, frankly.
- I was actually told to “Just go die” – POST: https://braincancerbabe.com/2020/05/11/today-i-was-told-to-die/
- With all the “Karens” and “Kens” ignorance seems to dominate life now. Yes, as a white girl I know white-privilege absolutely exists! Several weeks ago, I had to explain to a man of color that the BLM Movement had nothing to do with looting and rioting. That it had to do with black, Latino and minority lives, including the lack of education, access to healthcare, etc. I asked if he had read the BLM Movement website? Obviously he hadn’t. I have! So, I directed him to educate himself before he commented on a movement standing-up for simple, basic human rights.
- It’s definitely “Okay to not be okay”. We are only human after all, as you say.
FOLLOW WARRIOR MEGSIE
BLOG: “LIFE ON THE CANCER TRAIN”